hello world...

Ted Kasinki was my neighbor...

We’ve hit the peak of it all. Where it is less the technology and more the idea that everything is hinging on “If I think different will it bring me to some shangri la, could it push me to a new level.” The truth is that some instances of tech are just an exercise in shifting our form of thinking. Breaking us out of the monotony of not accomplishing, with a dose of strange. Maybe not the mouse though.

I walked away from the mouse about six months ago. I’ve had a mouse as form of input with computers for thirty two years. I don’t care if my computer has a touch screen. Sometimes my finger does reach out, maybe a few times a year I find myself reaching out. It never provokes me to seek out systems that would allow me that honor. But the mouse, the track pad, the pointer mouse, the roller ball mouse, these things are natural to me.

Reaching out to a screen, having to pinch and zoom to highlight, that is high fuckery. My big question now is that I am able to live on a day to day basis without the mouse, but it doesn’t feel good..

I’ve sold most of my nice pieces of tech. For the last six months i’ve sold a piece and then dusted off some bit of kit and frankenstined it back together and gotten back to work. That has given me a lot of time to enjoy the simplicity (limitations) of linux, it has helped me understand what I have to have, but what I can’t live without.

Toshiba and the case of the japanese executive laptop.

I own a number of gorgeous Toshiba and Sony laptops. These machines were bought on a regular basis by executives from my company. It is a slppery slope, the easy to carry laptop is never the powerful system. It is a usually a design exercise to try to shove the function of a computer into an incredibly small and beautiful package. Size and lilliputian details are well executed on. Toshiba and Sony were great at this kind of engineering. They never sold a number of systems, but these were always halo products. They were always meant for the upper echelon, eventually to be passed down.

Historically though performance was so behind the line from the very beginning, a new delicate small system replacing a barely used previous delicate under powered system. It was a vicious cycle that only executives and sales people could ever justify to their IT departments. And if you’re not on the internet, and willing to either run a very light Linux kernel, or something like windows xp you madam/sir can be a pig in shit. Everyone else need not apply.

How and when do we need the Internet

Our dependency on the Internet as it relates to how we get our created content where we want it is the big question. If you’re a writer, do you really need the internet to write? If you have a word processor and a dictionary can you get by? It seems like you could, though our workflow is so multi threaded of late it seems. Write a little, look up some stuff, write a bit more, take a break and check email.

There are just so many things we do in the blocks of time when we’re supposed to be writing that has nothing to do with writing. Just imagine if you had a device with no distractions on it and you could write and edit pictures to your heart's desire; you just eventually have to check in and get that data to a another device which could onboard it to the internet.

I’ve attempted this repeatedly over the years, but my success has been lacking. Mostly cause an offline machine isn’t what I really want. I love the concept and when I attempt it, carrying a dedicated device that has the same visuals of a more functional device it messes with my head. I completely can’t focus on writing and lightly editing pictures, I instead circle and circle the hardware and try to make it more capable, and it never was to begin with.

Can you ever really go back?

How do you get to where you were? Should you give up trying to get to where you were and just try to figure out where you fit in with the new new.  2017 is ending. For roughly one tenth of my life I spent the end of the year setting up my road map for the next year.  I would work in progress towards ideas and a concept that i built on the fly.   

I’ve always maybe struggled to complete the vision, then build the content and then the package.  Or maybe I set high goals, dug in, tried to give myself avenues to contribute to and different opportunities to challenge various states of how I felt emotionally.  It certainly worked; well if you go to the way back machine and know where to look, you can find my digital remains slowly turning into rich crude.  

There is so much technology!  There are so many ways! There are so many variations on being able to express yourself, it feels daunting sometimes… It feels daunting trying to figure out where to put the energy.  I’m pretty certain I don’t have a proper voice anymore though.  I’m pretty certain I might be a tapestry of maxims and survival instinct measures that I am bound t; Elric trapped in a set fate.  

I think I’m going to lose what I have left of my youth if I don’t abandon my hang ups and just accept that it is going to be a sloppy journey to get back to speaking.


version 1.3

once more with feeling

Before the democratization of the medium in the form of rich backends which just allow people to think, submit and get on with their lives, you had to really burn calories to get your thoughts out there. And the people who did that were a motley bunch of pioneers and we shared a lot in common with the early days of tv.

This is a return to the medium, not for nostalgia, maybe more so to take advantage of working from muscle memory. I’m not a coder, I’ve always just written enough code to know i don’t like it. Markup which can incorporate code is different, it starts to feel like an overlay that you just need special glasses to see. There is also some sense of a return to form maybe?

At the very least the thoughtfulness of writing with the idea of how to present that writing seems to have some familiarity for me that I find to be pleasing how my mind can work, in the process of writing, editing and presenting.

I think this is also where my soul and truth are, but somehow this time around i’m going to try to talk more from me, than me in the reflection of my relationships. This is KungFu and in some sense or the other i’ve had this site since the mid to late nineties. By now she has slept as much as she has been awake, we’ll see how she starts back up.

© copyright Paul Sibley - ThisIsTheNew.Me