Supplemental.
The question we gotta ask is: Does success in it’s many forms, separate friends.
This also begs the other more detailed perspective and the question: What is success when it can be measured by fiscal,
personal satisfaction, and often times hard to identify measures: drugs, other relationships, location relative to various
communities and lifestyles.
And of course we always judge these values different as they relate to us.
I don’t ever write and feel as if I am conveying much of what I would like to express. So this adjoining text, is a jump,
adding more values to my original thought, while trying to maintain some integrity in how the thought occurred to me
originally.
That is the fucking challenge of writing. i have had no failure in writing poetry or reviews, articles, or story ideas. But I
gotta tell you when I think about feature length work, which is a complete piece and it’s volume is on par with a novel or
film, or some other encapsulated form of delivery, I shake in my fucking boots.
I genuinely want to fucking say something. I don’t want to just write shit and that’s a problem, cause I’m not letting my
failure live. Failure is essential to eventual success and we run from it. It’s when life gets complicated. Do I make these
jumps, where things are uncertain or safe, more importantly do I actually try to do something relevant.
I don’t lie awake at night, questioning existence, but I do want to contribute to it in some good way, i just don’t want to
pollute the content community.
So it’s really easy to write when it’s fun, or when you feel impassioned, but what happens on that faithful day when you want
to really do something?
We get hampered as writers or even just as the participants that we are in life, and we want to follow established path, so
that we can measure ourselves, see where we are, where we are going. Course, some of us really don’t want to do that, we dread
it as just not contributing to the content community and that’s how we find as creature, find God.
So while I have a very successful site and wealth of content that I have created or collaborated on, I am kinda in a quagmire
folks, cause I think I’m supposed to make feature length work and I question the relevance of many of my ideas. I’ve had these
hurdles before and each time, a drought of creativity came with it and I’m there now. I usually spend this time, working on my
career, personal sanity and sometimes just fucking off. And I don’t want to pollute the content community, so sometimes I just
don’t do much work and grow weary of the safe conventional shit, like horoscopes, ChiChi or even 180. That kinda shit is cool,
but it’s for the birds, I just can’t define myself, painting by numbers.
Jonnie, you listening buddy?
And as a general end statement, Why do motherfuckers who don’t write, think they should have the righ to ask me when i’m going
to write something. It’s not like I want a basket of muffins or flowers. But why do people come up to me and go “So when are
you gonna write something?” I’m not sensitive, i’m just always like “So when are you ever going to write something and then
actually show it to somebody?” Pussies. I put too much out, to have to hear that shit, yet for some reason I do, it fucking
kills me. KungFu is open guys, you write it, i’ll cut it, clean it up and throw that motherfucker up there, add something,
otherwise, shut the fuck up.
–Paul.